Introduction
Ben at his Graduation

It's been a month since the first installment. Out of nowhere the workload seems to have come, burying me with competing demands and pressure. As the light of holidays less than three weeks away draws ever closer, at times it seems only to remind me that there is so much to do in an ever decreasing amount of time. Right now, a 5000 word research essay due in two-and-a-half day's time - on law, ignorance, and (would you believe it!) card games and rock lobster fishing - sits half completed, the pile of library books, textbooks, notes and cases strewn across every inch of available space.

Even though there is only two-and-a-half days remaining for this essay - after which it can be submitted, forgotten for the time being and inevitably replaced by the next item on the assessment list - there is some satisfaction and relief that I've been able to write it so quickly. Compared with the comparatively meagre 500 words that existed several days ago, and the scattered thoughts a few days before that, there has been solid and determined progress. But at the same time, it has not been without - dare I admit it - some blind panic.

Time

I must confess that I am not the most organised of people. My limited knowledge of Greek tells me that there are two words for time chronos and chairos (forgive my spelling). Chronos means linear time - days, dates, deadlines, whereas chairos contemplates time as opportunity and flexibility. That being so, I have no hesitation in preferring the latter. While that affords me the comfort of being laid back it does mean that I run into (occasional) problems with the former sort of time - deadlines - and that is what happened this time.

As I have said, I do not normally get overly stressed about everything. However, the sudden realisation that a major piece of assessment - worth 80% of an entire subject - was yet to be written in a comparatively short timeframe began a chain-reaction of worry:

"What if I don't get this essay quite finished on time?"
"That would mean time penalties... Strict ones."
"Well, what if I don't finish at all until the end of next week? And if the time penalties stack up, meaning I won't pass the subject even if I do ultimately turn the paper in?"
"What will that do to my grades?"
"What will that do to my degree?"
"What will that do to the rest of my life?"

At this point the stomach-churning fear had taken hold. It was hard to sleep; difficult to resist the urge to get up and try to finish the entire thing there and then. To not stop until the last word was perfectly in place. There was, it seemed, only one choice, one way out - total stress meltdown... that - or prayer.

"Cast Your Anxiety..."

One scripture that often comes to mind is:

"Cast your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you."

1 Peter 5:7

Going with that is all the promises of God, that He really does care, and He's concerned for my future. There is also the realisation that each of the frantic questions above have two answers: one lie, and one truth. The lies - "You've got no hope of finishing on time... You're going to fail that subject... You might finish the degree somehow, but you're marks will be so bad..." all have the effect of generating spiralling fear if you choose to believe them. The next thing you know, your prospects look so terrible that, well, is it really worth the effort of surviving?

For the Truth - there is but one answer that is sufficient for every dilemma: "Trust me. I love you. I care for you. And I will lead you." After that it is just a matter of stepping into faith and believing God's ability to rescue - to save. That belief creates an overwhelming peace and confidence no matter how dire the circumstance. That peace in turn gives the freedom to see and understand the task in a new light - in ways the cloud of stress had previously blotted out. For the essay that has meant flowing words, understanding concepts and linkages, intrigue at discovering the law applicable to rock lobster fishing in Western Australia, and the quiet confidence of knowing that God's in charge once again - despite my failings.

Conclusion

In my prayer, I made God the "Lord of the assignment", trusting and asking Him to provide the necessary wisdom, knowledge, time and inspiration to get the job done on time, and to the best Him and I combined can manage. It is true that the 'impossible deadline' can be reached, the 'undoable task' completed, the 'inconceivable' and 'incomprehendable' understood. This can not come by our own ability, but only by walking in trust with God. It's important to surrender all control to God's love, for what we lack in our own weakness becomes consumed by the all-powerful strength that only God can give.